


A Mother's Love

by lbk_princen



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 10:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18939415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lbk_princen/pseuds/lbk_princen
Summary: SCHPOILERS FOR EPISODE 48Deep underground, Caleb pulls Nott aside for a quiet conversation.





	A Mother's Love

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many fucking feelings about the relationship between these two. IF YOU READ THIS INTERACTION AS ROMANTIC I WILL MANIFEST SNAKES INTO YOUR HOME.

Deep beneath the dirt, the Mighty Nein trekked towards Xhorhas in a worm-dug tunnel. The days were long with nothing to keep them occupied but each other's company.

As they walked, Caleb reached down to touch Nott lightly on the shoulder. "Nott," he said, voice soft. "May I speak to you a moment?"

Nott glanced about to where everyone else was trudging through the tunnel. Beau and Fjord were deep in conversation, and Caduceus seemed to be listening, amused. Meanwhile Jester and Yasha were comparing journals and chatting in hushed voices. Caleb and Nott slowed slightly, letting ten, then fifteen feet of distance grow between themselves and the rest of the group.

"What is it, Caleb?" Nott asked, keeping her voice low as they continued to trail a bit behind.

Caleb took a long moment before he spoke. Nott was used to this, the way he needed time to gather his words -- or perhaps just the courage to say them -- and waited patiently.

"You have a son," is what eventually came out of his mouth.

Nott looked down at her hands, picking anxiously at her nailbeds. The sight of her own green skin had stopped being jarring to her months ago, but in light of recent events it once more turned her stomach. "I do," she said, and her voice was tinged with sadness and longing. "I hadn't seen him in so long... I -- I missed him so much."

"You said that..." Caleb cleared his throat before continuing. "You said that you had forgotten what he looked like."

Nott felt a pang of sorrow in her chest and took a deep breath. Her head stayed bowed for a moment, then she looked up, but did not look at Caleb. "I did. It had been so long and... can I be honest with you, Caleb?"

 _"Ja,_ of course."

Finally she looked up at him, eyes tracing his scruffy hair and his bright blue eyes and the worry lines creasing his forehead. "You reminded me so much of him when we met," she said. This seemed to catch Caleb off guard. He blinked, his expression going from carefully neutral to surprised and confused. "I think it was your eyes," Nott continued, looking away again. "Luc has such nice eyes, like his father. But you reminded me of him. And I guess... I guess since then it was hard, because anytime I tried to remember what my son looked like, I just saw you."

"Oh." Caleb didn't seem to know how to interpret this. When Nott looked back up at him he was staring into the middle distance, eyebrows scrunched together and one bandage-wrapped hand covering his mouth, apparently deep in thought.

Guilt twisted at Nott's insides. She clenched and unclenched her fists in the edge of her fancy elvish cloak. "Do you think I'm a bad mother?" she asked in a whisper.

Caleb stopped in his tracks. Nott stopped too, and turned around to face him. She was biting her own lip, hesitant to meet his eyes. She was surprised when Caleb dropped to one knee and put both his hands on her shoulders.

"No," he said, quietly but firmly. "I do not think you are a bad mother. You did and are doing everything you can for your family. You clearly love that boy very much."

Nott felt tears well up in her eyes as she stared at Caleb's face. "I do, I love him so much," she whispered.

Caleb hesitated for a moment, but his eyes did not stray from hers and he did not pull away. "You cared for me, Nott," he said, each word slow and deliberate. "When no one else did. I was very alone, when we met. And I thought I would always be alone. But you... you were patient, and you were generous, and you were kind to me."

Nott smiled, but Caleb's expression remained serious.

"Did you do all that simply because I reminded you of your son?"

Nott's smile fell and her eyes widened. "No! No of course not Caleb! I mean -- yes, that, that endeared me to you at first but..." Nott struggled to find the words.

Caleb looked so lost, like the thought of Nott only liking him because of a resemblance to someone else was un-tethering him. She reached out and grabbed his cheeks, pulling his face closer.

"I love my son," she said fiercely. "And I love YOU, Caleb. These are two separate feelings for two separate people. Do not mistake me. Maybe what I feel towards you is displaced motherhood instincts but it is still _what I feel._ Luc is my boy but _so are you."_

Caleb's face finally broke into a pitiful smile, and he let out a small huff of air that only few would recognize as his small, broken chuckle. "I am sorry for doubting you, Nott the Brave," he said, voice still soft, but now with more levity. He cleared his throat. "And, ah, does that mean--"

Caleb was cut off by Fjord's voice. "Hey you two! You tryin' to get left behind?"

Nott released Caleb's face and hastily wiped the wetness from her eyes. The human withdrew his hands from her shoulders in order to stand.

"Coming!" Nott yelled back. She looked back up at Caleb. "What were you saying?"

Caleb glanced at Nott, then ahead to where the rest of the group had paused, maybe fifty feet beyond them. They were all turned towards the pair expectantly. Caleb gave an awkward wave and started forward. "Ah, nevermind," he mumbled to Nott. "It was nothing important." Nott scrambled to keep pace with him.

They rejoined the group, and continued walking.


End file.
